The best part of politics: because they're all screwing us anyway.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Politician porn!

Not only has Jim Webb written porn, but so have a bunch of other politicians.

Now that's what I call dirty politics.

Fun with typos

If more politicians tried this, maybe we wouldn't have such low voter turnout among young people:

In what could be the funniest political blunder since Dan Quayle's sixth grade "spelling lesson," Mayor Saundra Naifeh of Edmond, Oklahoma, and a team of volunteers recently handed out 22,000 fliers aimed at discouraging underage drinking with a "helpful" phone number at the bottom for ratting out drinking parties. It was all part of her town's contribution to Make A Difference Day, a national campaign "to help neighbors and the community," and what a difference they made. You see, the number that actually got printed on the fliers was for a phone sex line offering callers "exciting live talk" for 99 cents to $2.99 per minute. As exciting as reporting underage drinking can be, I don't think that was her intention.

Hey, phone sex is my favorite way to fight underage drinking. It's simple: if teens are having phone sex, they won't be drinking!

Don't forget to vote!

It's election day, and you know what that means--time to go into a little booth, pull the curtain shut, and then pull the lever. Pull it hard.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Bush sniffs, the, err, bush

I really don't need that image in my head. Please, God.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Hey all...

Sorry I haven't posted in a ridiculously long time. I haven't stopped being dirty minded, but I've just been busy.

Apparently Osama Bin Laden has a crush on Whitney Houston, according to his former sex slave. Fun stuff. When I'm not so tired, maybe I will come up with something amusing to say about Osama's sex life...

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Isn't this something Clinton should be doing?

"I've found the weapons of mass seduction!"

I don't want to know what Bush is about to do

But I think he's already screwed the country enough, we don't need it with a wooden paddle too.

Bill Clinton, the joke that never stops giving

Now that his presidential portrait's unveiled, he is of course well hung.

But wait, there's more!

While many liked Hillary’s pose, some of the same people said Bill’s “Inside the Beltway” portrait looked very unpresidential.

I did not go inside the beltway with that woman...

Friday, February 03, 2006

Oh God, I just had to post

The Republicans just elected a guy named Boehner as their new House majority leader.

Apparently (at least according to Jon Stewart) it's pronounced "Baner," but it's still hilarious.

And the Times managed to use the word "package" in the second sentence of its article:

Mr. Boehner packaged himself as the reform candidate, methodically distancing himself from Representative Tom DeLay, the hard-driving former majority leader identified with both ethics investigations and a searingly partisan manner.

Hard-driving? Uh-huh.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Mama mia

From the Boston Globe:

ROME --Premier Silvio Berlusconi has promised Italians he would lower taxes and raise pensions. His latest campaign pledge is rather personal: no sex until April 9 elections, an Italian newspaper reported Sunday.

Il Giornale, a conservative Milan daily owned by Paolo Berlusconi, the premier's brother, reported that the no-sex vow was made during a campaign rally in Cagliari, Sardinia, on Saturday with a popular TV preacher on the island and his followers.

The clergyman, Rev. Massimiliano Pusceddu, praised the premier for what he described as a defense of family values and promised that his followers would support the conservative leader because "if the left wins it will be the moral end for this country."

"Let me give you my blessing," the priest was quoted as saying.

Berlusconi replied, smiling, according to Il Giornale: "Dear Father Massimiliano. I thank you a lot. I will try to meet your expectations, and I promise from now on, 2 1/2 months of absolute sexual abstinence, until April 9."

Berlusconi's challenger in the vote is Romano Prodi, a center-left leader and former premier.

Where did Berlusconi get this idea? Maybe he read the first George Bush's lips wrong when he said "Read my lips, no new taxes"...

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

How come I didn't think of this?

George Clooney is quite perceptive:

The Clooney-Abramoff flap started when George made a crude joke about Jack on the internationally televised Golden Globes.

"Who would name their kid Jack with the last words 'off' at the end of your last name? No wonder that guy is screwed up," Clooney quipped as he accepted the best supporting actor award.

Perhaps Abramoff could use this shirt:

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Headline of the Day

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Gotta love the Drudge Report

That sure is a firm stance:

Best headline ever

I know, it's not political, but it amuses the hell out of me:

Sales of Impotence Drugs Fall, Defying Expectations

Saturday, December 03, 2005

The numbers make sense, but shouldn't it be the other way around?

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