The best part of politics: because they're all screwing us anyway.

Monday, May 02, 2005

Boinkette Reader Contest Falls Flat

I guess it needs some Viagra.

Unfortunately, I'm not cool, so only one person entered my contest, and the world is sadly deprived of all the potential dirty senatorial names that could have been created.

Oh well. At least we have Harry Reid, and he's real. I'll never think of his name quite the same way again.

Not to mention Bob Kerrey's insightful declaration that Santorum is Latin for asshole. Although it's pretty much a given that there are always assholes in government.

So, since I promised awards, Joe gets an A for Effort for his contributions:

- Sam Bareback Brownback

- Horsehumpin' Santorum

Good stuff. But it's totally Doghumpin' Santorum. Kind of goes along with Kitten-Killin' Frist. And Bugs-and-Ethics-Exterminatin' DeLay. PETA needs to jump on this Congress' case fast. Another nude ad campaign, maybe?

But I digress. In summary, Joe rocks because he saved my contest from total patheticness, and sadly Senators are just not sexy unless they are John Edwards. Who is no longer one anyway. I wonder if that means he has some more free time now...hmmmm.

Pardon me while I go develop a diabolical plot for seducing John Edwards. I hope he'll show me how to make two Americas into one America, since he didn't do such a great job of it during the campaign.


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