Boinkette

The best part of politics: because they're all screwing us anyway.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Is Rick Santorum that kid from American Pie?

You know, the one who was fond of Eastern mysticism and Stiffler's mom?

Amanda over at Pandagon thinks so:

He's probably a closet aficianado of Tantra and is trying to get American men to learn the art of refraining from ejaculation. He can't just come out and admit something like that, though, or the Focus on Family sorts would shit a brick. So instead he disguises himself as a sex-phobic religious wacko and simply hopes that deprived of our contraception, American men will embrace the practice of refraining from ejaculation out of sheer necessity.

Uggh! My virgin eyes!

Luckily, she's just joking, although the alternate suggestion isn't too much more appetizing:

Ha! I'm kidding, of course. Santorum is actually just trying to shake Americans out of their routine missionary positions. Being a good Catholic, he knows that a surefire way to get people more interested in oral and anal sex is to take away their contraception. No funny business Tantra stuff for him. Just good old Catholic school "anal isn't sex" desperation.

Well, sure gives new meaning to calling uptight Republicans anal.

Plus, Santorum is already an asshole, and a pain in the ass to upright Democrats/liberals/sane people everywhere, so it's not too much of a stretch, so to speak...

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