Boinkette

Politician porn!

2006-11-07T03:16:00.000-05:00

Not only has Jim Webb written porn, but so have a bunch of other politicians.

Now that's what I call dirty politics.

Fun with typos

2006-11-07T03:12:00.000-05:00

If more politicians tried this, maybe we wouldn't have such low voter turnout among young people:

In what could be the funniest political blunder since Dan Quayle's sixth grade "spelling lesson," Mayor Saundra Naifeh of Edmond, Oklahoma, and a team of volunteers recently handed out 22,000 fliers aimed at discouraging underage drinking with a "helpful" phone number at the bottom for ratting out drinking parties. It was all part of her town's contribution to Make A Difference Day, a national campaign "to help neighbors and the community," and what a difference they made. You see, the number that actually got printed on the fliers was for a phone sex line offering callers "exciting live talk" for 99 cents to $2.99 per minute. As exciting as reporting underage drinking can be, I don't think that was her intention.

Hey, phone sex is my favorite way to fight underage drinking. It's simple: if teens are having phone sex, they won't be drinking!

Don't forget to vote!

2006-11-07T03:02:00.000-05:00

It's election day, and you know what that means--time to go into a little booth, pull the curtain shut, and then pull the lever. Pull it hard.

Bush sniffs, the, err, bush

2006-09-13T01:59:00.000-04:00

I really don't need that image in my head. Please, God.

Hey all...

2006-08-31T02:05:00.000-04:00

Sorry I haven't posted in a ridiculously long time. I haven't stopped being dirty minded, but I've just been busy.

Apparently Osama Bin Laden has a crush on Whitney Houston, according to his former sex slave. Fun stuff. When I'm not so tired, maybe I will come up with something amusing to say about Osama's sex life...

Isn't this something Clinton should be doing?

2006-04-27T00:36:00.000-04:00

"I've found the weapons of mass seduction!"

I don't want to know what Bush is about to do

2006-04-27T00:33:00.000-04:00

But I think he's already screwed the country enough, we don't need it with a wooden paddle too.

Bill Clinton, the joke that never stops giving

2006-04-27T00:29:00.000-04:00

Now that his presidential portrait's unveiled, he is of course well hung.

But wait, there's more!

While many liked Hillary’s pose, some of the same people said Bill’s “Inside the Beltway” portrait looked very unpresidential.

I did not go inside the beltway with that woman...

Oh God, I just had to post

2006-02-03T00:29:00.000-05:00

The Republicans just elected a guy named Boehner as their new House majority leader.

Apparently (at least according to Jon Stewart) it's pronounced "Baner," but it's still hilarious.

And the Times managed to use the word "package" in the second sentence of its article:

Mr. Boehner packaged himself as the reform candidate, methodically distancing himself from Representative Tom DeLay, the hard-driving former majority leader identified with both ethics investigations and a searingly partisan manner.

Hard-driving? Uh-huh.

Mama mia

2006-01-29T17:54:00.000-05:00

From the Boston Globe:

ROME --Premier Silvio Berlusconi has promised Italians he would lower taxes and raise pensions. His latest campaign pledge is rather personal: no sex until April 9 elections, an Italian newspaper reported Sunday.

Il Giornale, a conservative Milan daily owned by Paolo Berlusconi, the premier's brother, reported that the no-sex vow was made during a campaign rally in Cagliari, Sardinia, on Saturday with a popular TV preacher on the island and his followers.

The clergyman, Rev. Massimiliano Pusceddu, praised the premier for what he described as a defense of family values and promised that his followers would support the conservative leader because "if the left wins it will be the moral end for this country."

"Let me give you my blessing," the priest was quoted as saying.

Berlusconi replied, smiling, according to Il Giornale: "Dear Father Massimiliano. I thank you a lot. I will try to meet your expectations, and I promise from now on, 2 1/2 months of absolute sexual abstinence, until April 9."

Berlusconi's challenger in the vote is Romano Prodi, a center-left leader and former premier.

Where did Berlusconi get this idea? Maybe he read the first George Bush's lips wrong when he said "Read my lips, no new taxes"...

How come I didn't think of this?

2006-01-24T18:49:00.000-05:00

George Clooney is quite perceptive:

The Clooney-Abramoff flap started when George made a crude joke about Jack on the internationally televised Golden Globes.

"Who would name their kid Jack with the last words 'off' at the end of your last name? No wonder that guy is screwed up," Clooney quipped as he accepted the best supporting actor award.

Perhaps Abramoff could use this shirt:

Headline of the Day

2005-12-08T00:10:00.000-05:00

Cheney resists pullout pressure

Gotta love the Drudge Report

2005-12-04T00:26:00.000-05:00

That sure is a firm stance:

Best headline ever

2005-12-04T00:06:00.000-05:00

I know, it's not political, but it amuses the hell out of me:

Sales of Impotence Drugs Fall, Defying Expectations

The numbers make sense, but shouldn't it be the other way around?

2005-12-03T19:00:00.000-05:00

Wow

2005-11-22T02:06:00.000-05:00

And I thought Laura Bush was the only person having sex with a dummy....

Teen's Mannequin Love-In

A teenager has been charged with indecent exposure after he was caught trying to have sex with a female mannequin on display at an arts centre.

Security guards found Michael Plentyhorse, 18, sprawled with the dummy on the floor with his trousers and pants down.

Police spokesman Loren McManus said: "There was inappropriate activity between him and the mannequin.

"That's the only way I know how to put it."

Guards said they had noticed several times before that the dummy's clothes had been removed at the centre in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, US.

If convicted, Plentyhorse may be registered as a sex offender.

Hope Matchan, of the prosecutors' department, said: "People might say it's relatively harmless.

"But I certainly would want to know if this person was my neighbour."

Even more headlines

2005-11-19T14:14:00.000-05:00

If there's one good thing the Iraq war has done, it's provided an awful lot of headlines that make immature people like me laugh (via Pandagon's resident "porn liberal" Amanda):

Heading toward a pressured and premature pullout?

Withdrawal mania

Headline of the Day

2005-11-19T03:59:00.000-05:00

Uproar in House as Parties Clash on Pullout

Yeah, pulling out usually does cause an uproar.

Although I don't think the article was referring to the kind of house or parties where such things usually take place...

Oh-so-quotable quote of the day

2005-11-19T03:55:00.000-05:00

"It's kind of like virginity. It is hard to get back."
--Pollster John Zogby on President Bush regaining public trust

Except that losing your virginity doesn't usually lead to thousands of soldiers and Iraqi civilians dead...then again, you never know with some people.

"Oh Dick, give it to me!"

2005-11-18T00:37:00.000-05:00

I guess he's going to make use of that long, hard autumn after all.

Oh, the mental trauma.

Getting ready for some fun?

2005-11-18T00:35:00.000-05:00

I don't think I want to know where this is headed.

Take it off...or, um, not

2005-11-18T00:32:00.000-05:00

Exposing Bush should be a lot more fun than this...

Well, whatever floats your boat

2005-11-18T00:29:00.000-05:00

But Richard Cohen's idea of a turn-on doesn't quite do it for me:

It would be nice, fitting and pretty close to sexually exciting if Bush somehow acknowledged his mistakes and said he had learned from them.

Coming out of my blog hibernation....

2005-11-18T00:24:00.000-05:00

Because I just couldn't resist this one:

The Long, Hard Autumn of Dick Cheney

Yuck. That's one season I would not want to be on the receiving end of. Talk about torture.

Got wood, eh?

2005-11-04T01:42:00.000-05:00

Via Wonkette, from today's White House briefing on Air Force One:

Q Will you have any time to talk to the Canadians about soft lumber?

ASSISTANT SECRETARY SHANNON: We always talk to the Canadians about soft lumber.

Perhaps he thought the ad said, "Talk to Canada to find out if Levitra is right for you."